I let January of this new year pass me by..not knowing what I really felt compelled write about. Should I do the standard "new year's resolution" post, birthday post for the January birthdays in my life, hopes for the new year; the list of cliches could go on and on. So here it is February and so far the year has been kind, but still, for risk of boring anyone who reads my ramblings, I have remained silent. Until tonight...as a result of the inspiration of a friend in Sunday school class this morning.
I enjoy our new class very much, and as I'm sure I've said before, learning so much more than I've ever allowed myself to in church. For anyone that knows me too well, I'm not a religious talker. I do believe, but I have also believed that most people I'm around would rather me be quiet about what I believe. Nothing has ever happened to make me think that...just me I guess.
As our class got underway this morning the topic was "faith". What is faith? When is a time you had/needed faith? etc. and somehow in that conversation my friend talked about how her and her family had chosen a word for the year and hers was "listen". At that moment I told her I liked that idea and it sounded like a good blog topic, but it really did make me listen and get in tune with the fact that I could benefit so much from doing more of it.
I have a lot on my mind each and every day. My personal stuff, my family stuff, my work stuff, and a long list of random stuff. I certainly do a lot of talking every day (my children, husband and co-workers can attest to that), but I do need to listen more. Maybe if I took time to listen things would be more clear to me. I have a lot of worries right now; and I need to set my voice to mute so that I can hear the direction I need to travel. Now don't start feeling sorry for me...I am also very, very blessed! But being a grown up has hit me hard in the past year and I have come to the realization that your loved ones don't live forever, children grow up entirely too fast, and the only thing that stays the same is that everything changes. Being an adult has its privileges, but it can really get ya down if you sit and think about it too much. I stay too busy to get too weepy about it, but maybe I would enjoy the ride so much more if I'd listen. I have family that seem way too distant, I have friends that I need to be a better friend to, I want to remember every second of these days with my precious boys, I have a husband that needs me to do more than just talk at him (I'll never live that confession down...good thing he isn't an avid follower of my blog), I have children at my work that are screaming on the inside and really need someone to listen to more than what they see on the outside, I meet strangers every day that I may be the only one that day that notices them, and I have a savior that needs me to listen with faith. So as for me and 2012...I want to listen twice as much as I speak. Whew! That may be a tall order for me, but I'll give it a try. Too often we try to take control of it all when really we are not in control at all. I think I'm ready to be out of control....and listen.
*Thanks to Kim S., & Brian Mc. for the inspiration today :)
