What's Happening With the Hagers: 2013

School has started since my last post..hence how long ago that last post was ;) The summer was indeed a good one and we've had many adventures with little time to write about them. As the weather turns colder and the daylight hours more scarce I get back at it.

This year I am blessed to get to actually work in the same building as our grant counselor again. While searching for a relevant lesson for our 4th and 5th graders in November she suggested a lesson on re-framing; finding the positive in a negative situation. She brought in picture frame; unattractive on one side and jazzy and colorful on the other side and I used this as the basis of the lesson. I told the students I had a picture to frame; a hand drawn picture of myself. They immediately let me know the colorful one was much better and made my lacking artwork look better as well. We talked about how even if the picture is not the greatest it can look better with a positive frame. We then went on to discuss some undesirable situations that would normally make us sad or upset and put those in the frame to see what would happen when we "flipped the frame" to the better, more positive side. I taught it not knowing if the students would really "get it" and it turned out to be one of my favorite lessons. Not for them maybe, but for me. Their discussions were great and I can't help to think that at least some of the students I shared that lesson with may practice looking at the positive side. I asked them too and told them I would do the same...not really knowing how that would come about.
So as I've watched everyone's wonderful "30 Days of Thankfulness" posts pop up each day I decided I would save mine for my blog and challenge myself, just like I had asked my students to, to see how many negatives I could flip the frame on and show thankfulness for. Of course, I'm thankful for many of the common things that frequented this month's Facebook posts; God's blessings, my family, my health, etc. However I took another route; I kept note of the things I gripe about most often, thankfully there aren't 30, but there are still quite a few. Then I tried to "flip my negative frame of mind" to turn that gripe into a thankful thought. So here is my "Unlikely things to be Thankful for items" (in no particular order) that I have flipped my frame around:

Waiting - I'm not much on it...I don't like to make others wait, I don't like to wait myself. However, if you find yourself waiting, the time that you may consider being wasted could be just what you need at the moment. It could mean your given time to think or re-think about things, reflect, make a much needed "to-do list" to organize yourself, or clean out that purse that has become the bottomless pit.

Mean People - Sometimes you encounter others that are just mean. They may or may not be strangers. You know the types...the ones that are looking through a negative frame as well. Maybe they are sarcastic, put you or your ideas down, or are just plain rude. It makes you angry, makes you want to get revenge, but most importantly it makes me more aware of how I'm treating others. "I hope I don't act like that!" is what I tell myself once the encounter is over and if I ever do..I try to be quick to fix it or apologize. I am thankful that I get that reminder. Without it I may never know what if feels like to be on the receiving end of it and may be guilty of such an offense more often. Remember...everyone is fighting their own battle..

Small home - Yes I admit it...I gripe about the size of our house. The truth is I do get jealous when I see that someone is building their dream home with a laundry room the size of my master bedroom, equipped with a man cave and a playroom for the kids, not to mention all of the "Pinterest" inspired extras. It's selfish...our home is nice and there is not one thing wrong with it, but none the less I complain. However I am thankful for this home. Besides the obvious needs it meets it also keeps our family close. A friend who had once purchased her "dream home" once told me that she wished for her previous little house back and shared this quote with me "Small houses make close families". So true...I always know what's going on in this house, I can hear my boys laughing and playing, and we actually hang out together most of the time. I am thankful for the quality time our small home allows us to share.

Endless Laundry - Oh how I complain about laundry! It's always there and is never ending. It's in piles in the hallway, in the bathroom and because our washer and dryer is in a closet in the kitchen...the kitchen table. However, I am thankful that we want not for clothing. We may not be the trendiest family on the block but our basic needs (and beyond the basics) of clothing are met.

Fatigue - It's no secret that I burn the candle at both ends most days. I do get tired and I'm sure that I don't get the rest that I should...who does? And I complain about it. I am thankful for that tired, worn out feeling. That means that I am able. Able to work, to play hard, be social and do all of the things that make us so happy to get some zzzz's at the end of the day.

NOISE - I complain a lot about noise...T.V. too loud, boys constantly making noise, too many things going on at once. But I'm thankful for that noise. It means we are an active, healthy family and we have many conveniences of life (such as T.V, Ipods, modern day gadgets/appliances) that create noise. Not to mention it makes you appreciate the peace and quiet in the event it comes along. Besides...in this house if things are quiet for too long...something is probably gone wrong :)

Messes - Just like noise, a mess means that our family is active. When Braydon was a baby, Garett and I used to work together each night to clean up after he was tucked in bed. We were meticulous. We would set up his play things piece by piece..making it seem as if we were tidying up a department store for a new day. Ha! Now it's a different story. We are just happy if the clutter from the day before isn't tripping us as we start our mornings and it's very doubtful that Batman and his crew are ever reunited in the Bat Cave at days end. I am thankful for those messes...I complain a lot saying I want my living room back, free of toys and shoes and stuff, but really the tiny tornadoes (and adult tornadoes too) are what make our messy life beautiful.

A check that's spent before you get it - Why is it so hard sometimes? I have a Master's level education but yet there are many months when the ends just don't meet. I am thankful for this because it teaches me value. I fret and worry over finances, but the bottom line is our choices are to blame. And each time I gripe about money and not having enough I learn a much needed lesson about value and priorities.

Bad Weather - We all do it don't we? It's too windy, too rainy, too cold, too hot.... this is simple and it's a quote my sister in law has written about before..not sure if this is exact but it goes something like this..."we would never enjoy the sunshine if it weren't for the rain". This obviously could pertain to many things in life...could sum up this whole post I suppose, but it does seem fitting. We should be thankful for all kinds of weather because any day the Lord has made is good.

Competition/Envy - I pray often about this because I complain often about this. I try hard not to compare myself to others but I do and when I do the green eyed monster rears his head. The positive part about it is motivation. Motivation to improve myself, motivation to let it go. If no one every challenged me in some way I'm sure I may get lazy. I could also re-frame it in that I should not work against others but with them.

Imperfections - We all have them...the ones you may see on the outside or the ones we carry inside. I've started to see more and more as I age...it's inevitable. More wrinkles, a few gray hairs starting to poke through, all of the imperfections I've mentioned so far that I battle everyday. I am thankful for those imperfections...they are what make me the person I am and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. I've always liked the quote from Tow Mater in CARS 2 about imperfections...
"Mater: For a second there I thought you was trying to fix my dents.
Holly Shiftwell: Yes, I was.
Mater : Well, no thank you! I don't get them dents buffed, pulled or painted for nobody.Their way too valuable.
Holly Shiftwell: Your dents valuable? Really?
Mater: I came by each one of them with my best friend Lightning McQueen. I don't fix them. I wanna remember these dents forever."

So there you have it...my biggest complaints...flipped into thankfulness for Thanksgiving. Don't get me wrong...It's not like I've given up complaints all together,but I do try to wear my positive pants before I get bogged down by the negative. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes it takes a prayer, a little blow up that my husband or kids get the brunt of, or a phone call to my best friend or sister to vent before I can muster up the energy. I don't do this alone...I am most thankful to have God in my life. I remember listening to a sermon of at my Mom's church last Thanksgiving. The preacher was saying we all had something to be thankful for and all I could think of was how hard it was to be thankful during the first holiday after losing my Dad to cancer and my Mom facing on-going health problems. Thinking there are some things it's just impossible to be thankful for. Some time later, it took a conversation with my husband to point it out to me that, even losing someone you love so much, can be re-framed. Now I value time spent with loved ones and look at family in a different light, it motivated me to get saved, and maybe I have been used to help someone else in the same situation. Sometimes it may take a while to flip a heavy frame, but in His time, God's pretty good at reminding me (sometimes not so gently) to look from a different perspective and from Him all blessings flow.

It's true...every summer has a story. Last summer's story for my family was by far not our best chapter. With the passing of my Dad and the whirlwind of emotions that accompany such a life event, in addition to facing another major life event with my mom and sister's kidney transplant approaching, it was difficult to pick up the book again, so to speak. I tried, I stumbled through the rest of the summer months, made the best of a long winter, and celebrated the new year with a strong belief that the rest of the story was gonna have a happy ending. I had let my blog go..every time I sat down to write it seemed to be the same emotions coming through. I was a little tired of being so intense. I tried to lift my spirits with our Elf, and did for the most part, enjoy Christmas, however, the new year with all of it's uncertainties at the time, left me lacking.
I was invited to do a little book study with some other ladies that, just like me, had some uncertainties in their lives. (Thanks Heather for the invite) Little by little feeling like I wanted to document what's happening with the Hagers again and what's been happening is really pretty uplifting compared to last summer's story.
The boys are, of course, growing bigger and smarter each day. Braydon is feeling high and mighty as an upcoming 2nd grader and a bit smitten with his next year's teacher. Both front teeth are gone and he is full of 7 year old wonder with a splash of sass. Rhett is thrilled with his new summer hair cut and as carefree as they come. He looks forward to any adventure, whether it be in the backyard, my mom and brother's farm, or talking about trips in far away places we have planned.

Garett and I are good...this summer we will be married 13 years. Wow! Amazing how that can happen and we still be in our twenties ;0 Both of us are staying busy, enjoying time together, as well as making time for our own hobbies.
His side of the family is growing as we look forward to meeting our new niece, Landy and the Idaho crew, in about one month and patiently await the arrival of another niece this fall from Jeremy and Cheryl. Work is picking up again for the railroad construction business and the boys are back at it.
My nephew Seth has graduated from Arizona State with engineering degree and headed to Texas to begin a new job with Baker Hughes Inc. and my nephew Geoffrey is starting a new career as an EMT and about to be a new daddy!
Mom and Kelly's kidney transplant has been an amazing experience. Stressful, more for them than me, of course, but a miracle in the end. Both are doing and feeling great! Here is my shameless plug.... If you haven't thought of being an organ donor, please consider it. I know it can sound creepy and unnatural, but just think of families like mine, but without the living, willing donor like my sister. It could make a huge impact on many people's lives. Without it my Mom's days were numbered and her quality of life was quickly slipping away. Now she can look forward to many more years with us; a gift that we could never repay our sister for giving to not only our Mother, but all of us.
All of this to say...this summer's story is gonna be anything but a tragedy. Maybe a comedy (who am I kidding...if our family are the main characters there is gonna be some humor in it), maybe some "how to's" and a little non-fiction, and some time to reflect on the history, but, all in all, I'm looking forward to a sunnier summer than last.